trump basket
A toilet bowl.
-I drank way too much last night and ended up spending my night at the trump basket.
-The trump basket is clogged; whoever used it last needs to plunge it.
wealth care
Excellent health care reserved exclusively for the wealthy.
America has a wealth care system.
hows the weather up there
A dick thing you say to a tall person to piss them off.
Person 1 “Hows the weather up there?”
Person 2 “Fuck you.”
ratfucker
The insane, narcissistic, outrageous asshat who ratfucked his way into the Whitehouse with Russian hacking, slanderous lies from FBI director James Comey, and the archaic, undemocratic, and fucked Electoral College. Ratfucker is now working tirelessly (minus weekly vacations to Florida) to finish dismantling american society, enact authoritarian rule, destroy the environment, and destabilized global relations. You’ve been ratfucked.
Ratfucker stays up long into the night composing insane and nonsensical tweets for the braindead lemmings who support him to read and praise.
from the giddy up
From the beginning.
You should have told me you don’t like men from the giddy up and I wouldn’t have wasted my time taking you out.
Trumpcare
Government healthcare program thought up by a group of rich white men posing as politicians that will provide you with enough coverage for a band-aid. Unless of course you are one of the rich.
I went to the E.R. with a severed finger. Having Trumpc…
presidential comb over
When the president deals with a problem by sweeping it under the rug.
Trump is dealing with the problem of his ties to Russia by giving it a presidential comb over.
spank bank overdraft
When you masterbate so much your spank bank is now into overdraft
Hey dude you making a withdrawal from the spank bank tonight ,bro I tug it so much I’m into spank bank overdraft
Shamrock’d
(Noun) Getting drunk on St. Patrick’s Day
Bro I got so Shamrock’d last night at this girls St. Patty’s party.
manonmansplaining
The act of explaining man on man sexual intercourse to another person.
Steve’s manonmansplaining is making Kyle uncomfortable, and he’s probably going to leave soon.
lucky sock
What most teenage boys use to masturbate
I just got done using my lucky sock, now ill use it again.
Chunion
A form of armpit odour that resembles a combination of cheese and onion. Usually experienced after hard work or a hot day.
“Babe I was doing chinups at the gym and the guy next to me copped a face full of chunion”
Corn Puck
A hard round constipating turd. Induced by too much starch and not enough fiber in the diet.
I’ll be back. I may be a while. I gotta work out a corn puck. Good luck. I had one the other day. Tore my ass up working that thing out.
Strand-up comedy
The way one’s hair can look first thing in the morning, sticking straight up in all directions.
When Bob woke up this morning, his hair looked like a strand-up comedy.
highwear
N. The sunglasses you put on when your eyes are displaying the effects of marijuana.
I see Adam’s got his highwear on to go meet his girlfriend’s parents.
fake news
A term formerly useful for describing websites consisting entirely of intentionally fabricated news stories, but now used to describe virtually anything that does not mesh with one’s own views.
Actual real-world examples of how “fake news” has been used:
“Fake news that’s being released by some foreign government”
“Fake news was able to spread so easily from sources like InfoWars and Breitbart and TheBlaze”
“the Rolling Stone, which did so much to damage the reputation of journalism with their fake news”
“the New York Times IS fake news”
“Kellyanne Conway is fake news”
“fake news from the CIA”
“the fake news phenomenon is spreading to children’s toys”
Source: Vice article entitled “Watch ‘fake news’ become a meaningless phrase
nmh
NMH stand for Nodding My Head as a direct opposite of the popular abbreviation SMH, Shaking My Head.
NMH is often used to express approval or joy.
Chloe: hey! do you want to come over next weekend?
Eric: nmh! ofc!Eric: hey, you think this sweater l…
hater steak
Something you feed haters, has to be juicy lies that will get them to bite
My haters where getting hungry so I fed them some hater steak!
reality challenged
(adj.) being in a state in which one is utterly and completely unable to distinguish fact from fiction, and is thus obviously and undeniably full of shit.
Most politicians are reality challenged. So are a number of attorneys, as well as most people living in Hollywood.
To use it in a sentence: “That guy is SO reality challenged… that he can’t even tell shit from Shinola!”
donald trump tie
Donald Trump ties are cheap, poorly-made rags that are sold a discount and second-hand stores. People wearing these ties are those who wish they had more in their wallet than just lint. Generally, tie-wearers are wanna-bes who are looking for some att…
crumplesack
An individual who performs less than satisfactorily to the chagrin and sometimes amusement of his or her associates, crew, or squadron.
The preflight crew forgot to leave water bottles on the jet for us? What a bunch of crumplesacks!