To offer prayer as a concrete solution to a problem. To, literally, run the issue “up the ladder” and wait for God to figure it out, thereby relieving you of taking any real action.
I asked the director off my daughter’s school if we could switch teachers. She smiled and told me she would pray about it. She totally pray punted the issue.
The correct response to the question “what it is”.
Man 1: Yo, what it is!
Man 2: You already know.
A lack of breast implants. Real boobs. Titties with no silicone or saline.
I swear I am the only chick in this entire gym with sansplants. Whatever. I’m rolling with it.
A list of people with whom you work and whom you would also like to murder. But you never would because you’re not a murderer so it’s an “office hit list” instead of just a regular hit list.
By the end of the week I had so many people on my office hit list that the entire company would be dead if I were actually a murderer. Good thing I’m not.
Red is associated with danger and negativity, but also with heat and excitement. This is why stop signs and stop lights are red, as well as sports cars and fire alarms.
The act of attempting to court a shortie with the desire to acquire booty.
Joe: That girl over there is a bomb ass shortie, be my wing man when I go say wussup to her later.
Halloween was a bit too real, as someone dead set on decorating used spectres to make a spectacle of the yard. Corpses rose from coffins among the tombstones, skeletons scaled the widow’s walk.
from 5 to 8 PM
the time of day during which Instagram will be the most active; for example the Instagram feed will be quickly updated and Instagram pictures will receive more instantaneous likes.
person 1: I’m thinking of posting this picture on Instagram.
person 2: Don’t post it now, it’s not Instagram Prime Time yet.
fonder now of instrumental music…
Was it like that?…
The math a younger girl does when she meets an older guy in a bar, where she finds how old she was when you were her age.
I’m too old to meet women in bars anymore, I don’t need there barithmetic, making me feel older than I am!
The weight a person reports on his or her driver’s license which is anywhere between 5 and 20 lbs. less than the person’s actual weight.
“I’m cutting out carbs so that I can get down to my Driver’s License Weight.”
In response to all the lame brands of casual wear, Hello Cthulhu has risen!
A more ghetto way of “Who does that?” when in a moment of surprise at someones actions
“Did that dude just pick his nose!?”
“Where they do that at!?”
The act of having explosive diarrhea in close proximity to a toilet which results in fecal matter splatter on said toilet and nearby areas. Fecal matter splatter resembles the pattern of buckshot or birdshot. Usually associated with Radar Ass or Radar…
The act of looking very attractive to the opposing gender to lead them on to rejection
“Bruh did you see that pic lil junt posted on IG with them lil shorts” yehhh mane she thirst trapping.. Knowing she has a boyfriend
(n.) when a bro cleans his room solely because he thinks he might be getting laid that night.
Guy 1- “Yo, dude, you trying to play Call of Duty?”
Guy 2- “Nah man, I gotta get my room cleaned up.”
Guy 1- “You gay dude?”
Guy 2- “Bro, Cindy might be in town tonight!”
Guy 1- “Ah, a little fling cleaning, I see. Well, carry on!”
Having a realistic wet dream to wake up to hearing your parents having sex in the other room.
“Mike, I had an accidental incest the other night!”
“Roll Tide”
This is very good work, especially that opening poem about mechanics. It has depth, wit and stands as experientially convincing. The political and social critiques are also sharp. You have…