November 2017

conversation walling

When you’re trying to make a conversation with a girl/guy you met recently, either A) online B) via text message or C) in person, and she/he responds to any of your questions with blank stares, one letter text messages using the words: oh, cool, or nice, or nothing at all until you have to try to change the subject.

Ron: so do you have any brothers or sister?

Emily: Yes

~4 minute delay~

Ron: Are you the oldest?

Emily: No

~2 minute delay~

Ron: So how was your day?

~2 minute delay~

Emily: Ok

Ron: Are you conversation walling me on purpose?

Emily: What?

Ron: I think I’d have a better conversation with a brick wall.

conversation walling

When you’re trying to make a conversation with a girl/guy you met recently, either A) online B) via text message or C) in person, and she/he responds to any of your questions with blank stares, one letter text messages using the words: oh, cool, or nice, or nothing at all until you have to try to change the subject.

Ron: so do you have any brothers or sister?

Emily: Yes

~4 minute delay~

Ron: Are you the oldest?

Emily: No

~2 minute delay~

Ron: So how was your day?

~2 minute delay~

Emily: Ok

Ron: Are you conversation walling me on purpose?

Emily: What?

Ron: I think I’d have a better conversation with a brick wall.

Brain Spurs

brain spurs. noun. a medical term referring to fatty growths in the cerebral cortex causing difficulty speaking, limited vocabulary, lying, laziness caused by being born rich

Trump got a deferment from Vietnam due to his Brain Spurs.

paggro

to be passively aggressive towards someone

Driver: Grr. That guy is totally riding my bumper. I’m going to drive slower.

Passenger2: Way to get paggro on his ass.

Smartphone dead leg

The loss of feeling in the legs due to prolonged smartphone use whilst sitting down, in particular on the toilet.

"Whoa candy crush just gave me mad smartphone dead leg on that last poo break!"

blind cite

A citation to some authority where it is clear the author has either not read, or fails to comprehend on a basic level, the cited authority.

Jeff regularly cites to articles that directly contradict his premise. One could say his blind cite is 20/2…

blind cite

A citation to some authority where it is clear the author has either not read, or fails to comprehend on a basic level, the cited authority.

Jeff regularly cites to articles that directly contradict his premise. One could say his blind cite is 20/2…

collecting receipts

taking screenshots/pictures/video/any form of footage or audio to be used against someone. like when an lawyer provides evidence in court.

“Girl, I was collecting receipts on what’s going on between her and Bob.”

“Oooooh, I want to see!”

collecting receipts

taking screenshots/pictures/video/any form of footage or audio to be used against someone. like when an lawyer provides evidence in court.

“Girl, I was collecting receipts on what’s going on between her and Bob.”

“Oooooh, I want to see!”

Schrödinger’s Text

The philosophical thought exercise used by men and women, waiting for a text that states “If you turn your phone off the text is both received and not received untill you turn it back on and see”. This thought exercise is exceptionally useful when you are waiting and obsessing over a text.

Person 1 “hey aren’t you waiting on a text? Why is your phone off”

Person 1 ” wow just grow a pair”

trump bump

The painful knot on your forehead that develops from repeatedly banging your head against the wall out of frustration, disbelief and/or abject horror at Trump’s inability to form complete thoughts & sentences, tell the truth, treat people with respect, etc etc etc. (Basically anything he does)

“Dude, your Trump bump looks wicked”

“Yeah, I just listened to his latest thoughts on the Russian hack. I’m seeing double and have to repair the living room wall again.”

posse

your crew, your hommies, a group of friends, people who may or may not have your back

me an’ my posse gonna hang tonite

posse

your crew, your hommies, a group of friends, people who may or may not have your back

me an’ my posse gonna hang tonite

gangsta lean

A common driving position in which the driver holds the wheel with his left hand while leaning to his right toward the passenger seat, usually bobbing his head or bumpin’ with the beat. It’s a pretty badass way to drive. This move works best in a Chevy Caprice or any pimp-style car with a 3-person front seat.

“…with a hellafied gangsta lean, gettin’ funky on da mike like an ol’ bunch of collard greens…” -Snoop Dogg

Sammy was gangsta leanin’ so hard yesterday that his head was partially out the passenger window. What a pimp.

gangsta lean

A common driving position in which the driver holds the wheel with his left hand while leaning to his right toward the passenger seat, usually bobbing his head or bumpin’ with the beat. It’s a pretty badass way to drive. This move works best in a Chevy Caprice or any pimp-style car with a 3-person front seat.

“…with a hellafied gangsta lean, gettin’ funky on da mike like an ol’ bunch of collard greens…” -Snoop Dogg

Sammy was gangsta leanin’ so hard yesterday that his head was partially out the passenger window. What a pimp.

IRLYBITSTTY

i really like you but i’m too scared to tell you

person 1: hey IRLYBITSTTY

person 2: oh what?

person 1: oh nothing 🙂

interrogatories

A list of questions that you must answer truthfully or else you’re fucked.

The Plaintiff was required to answer the Defendant’s interrogatories

interrogatories

A list of questions that you must answer truthfully or else you’re fucked.

The Plaintiff was required to answer the Defendant’s interrogatories

scheissegeist

From the German for "shit" + "ghost" (scheisse + geist): the smell left over in the bathroom.

Terry, please open the window when you poop. You need to let the scheissegeist out.

Claustrophobic

To have a fear of Santa Claus.

Can you get away from me? You’re making me claustrophobic.