To offer prayer as a concrete solution to a problem. To, literally, run the issue “up the ladder” and wait for God to figure it out, thereby relieving you of taking any real action.
I asked the director off my daughter’s school if we could switch teachers. She smiled and told me she would pray about it. She totally pray punted the issue.
The correct response to the question “what it is”.
Man 1: Yo, what it is!
Man 2: You already know.
A lack of breast implants. Real boobs. Titties with no silicone or saline.
I swear I am the only chick in this entire gym with sansplants. Whatever. I’m rolling with it.
A list of people with whom you work and whom you would also like to murder. But you never would because you’re not a murderer so it’s an “office hit list” instead of just a regular hit list.
By the end of the week I had so many people on my office hit list that the entire company would be dead if I were actually a murderer. Good thing I’m not.
The act of attempting to court a shortie with the desire to acquire booty.
Joe: That girl over there is a bomb ass shortie, be my wing man when I go say wussup to her later.
from 5 to 8 PM
the time of day during which Instagram will be the most active; for example the Instagram feed will be quickly updated and Instagram pictures will receive more instantaneous likes.
person 1: I’m thinking of posting this picture on Instagram.
person 2: Don’t post it now, it’s not Instagram Prime Time yet.
The math a younger girl does when she meets an older guy in a bar, where she finds how old she was when you were her age.
I’m too old to meet women in bars anymore, I don’t need there barithmetic, making me feel older than I am!
The weight a person reports on his or her driver’s license which is anywhere between 5 and 20 lbs. less than the person’s actual weight.
“I’m cutting out carbs so that I can get down to my Driver’s License Weight.”
A more ghetto way of “Who does that?” when in a moment of surprise at someones actions
“Did that dude just pick his nose!?”
“Where they do that at!?”
The act of having explosive diarrhea in close proximity to a toilet which results in fecal matter splatter on said toilet and nearby areas. Fecal matter splatter resembles the pattern of buckshot or birdshot. Usually associated with Radar Ass or Radar…
The act of looking very attractive to the opposing gender to lead them on to rejection
“Bruh did you see that pic lil junt posted on IG with them lil shorts” yehhh mane she thirst trapping.. Knowing she has a boyfriend
(n.) when a bro cleans his room solely because he thinks he might be getting laid that night.
Guy 1- “Yo, dude, you trying to play Call of Duty?”
Guy 2- “Nah man, I gotta get my room cleaned up.”
Guy 1- “You gay dude?”
Guy 2- “Bro, Cindy might be in town tonight!”
Guy 1- “Ah, a little fling cleaning, I see. Well, carry on!”
Having a realistic wet dream to wake up to hearing your parents having sex in the other room.
“Mike, I had an accidental incest the other night!”
“Roll Tide”
A pair of twins that subsequently go on to live as roommates.
We figured since we managed to get along so well in such a small space for 9 months, it would be easy to become wombmates again.
the Costco worker who checks your receipt as you leave
Costcops pretend to confirm what you’ve bought.
To go down on a woman is to start her off with nice, long, passionate kisses on the lips, and then down to her neck, and then down to her breasts where you have your pleasure with them, and then you kiss your way across her tummy, and finally, you have ultimate pleasure with orally pleasing her pussy.
“I want to go down on your sister.”
A person who, when reading text on a computer screen, cannot help but constantly select, deselect, and reselect the text.
This highlighting ranges from constantly clicking the text at random, highlighting the words as they are read, or highlighting the words as a bookmark to stay on track.
Jimmy is a compulsive highlighter; he constantly clicks at his computer screen even while he’s just reading!
An exceptionally large lagomorph that died for our sins (or was that Jesus?) and, during the month of April, delivers delectable candy treats to all the good little Gentile boys and girls of the world.
On Easter’s Eve, the Easter Bunny arises from his tomb to spread good tidings and tooth-rotting chocolate Christ statuettes to all.