Poptical Illusion
Certain patterns on baggy pants that make a girls butt look larger or even in massive tense
Ashlyn’s pants are a poptical illusion
Tweet It
If someone says ‘Tweet It’ after another person has said a sentence then they must simply tweet the sentence they just said.
James Wells ‘I suck cock’ Adam davies ‘Tweet it’. James would then have to tweet that he sucks cock
Kidcessory
A child had by a celebrity just for the attention. Usually given a bizarre name, because who cares what the child has to go through growing up, they’re just a kidcessory.
D’ya hear? Kimye had a kidcessory and named it North West.
Ketchup drool
The thin nasty liquid that drips from the ketchup bottle before the thick sauce reaches the opening
Don’t pour the ketchup bottle over your fries until all the ketchup drool has cleared.
datenapping
When you find yourself in a date with someone who bores you to the point that you find yourself asleep with your eyes open.
Paige: Dang, the guy last night who took me to dinner was such a bore. He caught me datenapping right during the entree.Jill…
whoopsie wave
When you wave to someone you know and another person intercepts your wave mistakenly as if you are waving to them, e.g. caught in the crossfire of your wave.
I was waving to Eddy at the show and Phil thought I was waving to him. Awkward… Phil waved back to me as he was caught in a whoopsie wave. It’s almost as bad as when Jim invited me to lunch, thinking I was Tony because his phone contacts were screwed up resulting in Jim texting me with an invite.
crappy ending
The opposite of a happy ending when getting a massage. When you are so relaxed that you shit yourself during the massage.
Dana: Dude, I just had a great massage just now but I need to tip the masseuse big.Eric: Why, happy ending?Dana: Nope. Actuall…
Jackintosh
A computer used exclusively for porn.
I have my desktop for work and my family tablet, or as I refer to it, my Jackintosh.
chicken coop
The chicken coop is the house or apartment where you keep all the drugs. (Mainly kilos of cocaine aka “chickens”)
You never sleep at the chicken coop or do business there. Noone should know where your chicken coop is except for you.
We call it a chicken coop because that’s where you go to lay your chickens down to sleep at night.
“Some fuck boys tried robbing the crib last night. Good thing I had the stash at the chicken coop.”
“Got about 4 birds at the chicken coop fam, let me know if you want them take about a hour to get em.
“What’s happening g”
“Shit fam at the chicken coop, breaking down these birds right quick”
Man I need to start moving some keys Bruh, got about 7 or 8 chickens all cooped up right now.
DTLA
short for “Downtown LA” or “Downtown Los Angeles”
Girl: Are you in Pasadena yet?
Guy: No I’m still in DTLA, it’ll be about 4 more hours.
get these hands
Ur about to get your ass beat
James: Ur ugly nigga
Nick: Bitch ur about to get these hands!
unring the bell
The unfortunate realization that any given time sensitive condition cannot be undone.
I so wish that I didn’t run over the kid while I was texting while driving. its just too late for that; can’t unring the bell.
Emergency walk
When you are at the breaking point of pissing or shitting your pants. You can’t run because that would shake it all out.
Who left the shitty underwear in the men’s room?
That guy doing the emergency walk a few minutes ago
Mabstinent
Abstaining from masturbation.
Guy: So do you like to play with yourself?
Girl: No, I’m mabstinent.
Notorious Fapper: I will try to be mabstinent because I’m ashamed of my nonstop wanking.
Find your silence
A request that somebody be quiet, stop talking, etc.
You’re driving me nuts. I am going to need you to find your silence.
verbal punches
To say things intended to hurt another.
I couldn’t stop myself from jumping on her, She was throwing verbal punches at me since I wAlked in the door last night until now, I couldn’t take anymore.
PFM
Pure fucking magic.
Person A: How the hell does a person sing in harmony with themselves?Person B: PFM.
Google University
A social media phenomenon where a commenter attempts to demonstrate knowledge obtained by searching on Google. This person has no legitimate degree from an accredited institution in said subject/topic, but will use unverified & inaccurate sources from websites searched on the search engine to prove their point on the topic being discussed.
After reading a ridiculous comment from someone that posted a link:
“Oh look, someone got their degree from Google University”.
Service the Account
A euphemism for masturbating, especially at work.
Hey Chris, it’s a slow day here at work. I need to find something to concentrate my efforts on. Maybe it’s a good day to service the account!