I’m Dead
You died of laughter, aka something is that funny you laughed so hard you died.
“After she peed in a driveway, Lilly cleaned her legs with vodka.”
“I’m dead.”
On God
A phrase used to describe something so honest you’re swearing upon God’s name.
I swear on God = On God
Guy: I swear people ask themselves questions on ask.fm
Girl: On God.
shitup
A common prank resulting in the victim attempting a blind-folded situp and encountering the perpetrator’s ass at the apex of the situp.
Bart wanted to impress his friends with his ability to achieve at least one situp while resisting the force of a towel pinning his head to the ground by a buddy. Before he knew it, his nose was cheek deep in ass and he realized he had actually performed a shitup.
shitup
A common prank resulting in the victim attempting a blind-folded situp and encountering the perpetrator’s ass at the apex of the situp.
Bart wanted to impress his friends with his ability to achieve at least one situp while resisting the force of a towel pinning his head to the ground by a buddy. Before he knew it, his nose was cheek deep in ass and he realized he had actually performed a shitup.
rpp
Rich People Problems
My boss lives up in Greenwich and is freaking out over finding a new nanny. That is some serious RPP.
taint team
when a prosecutor needs to get between a prick and an asshole.
In order to preserve evidence integrity, Mueller used a taint team to execute a warrant against Michael Cohen—bringing him one step closer to a courtroom.
girl wood
Female arousal. The girl equivalent to morningwood guys experience upon waking.
OMG. After sexting with this super hot guy last night, I totally woke up with girl wood.
Bey-sexual
A person who is not sexually attracted to women, but would have sex with Beyoncé
Woman 1: “Are you attracted to women?”
Woman 2: “no, except Beyoncé”
Woman 1: “So, are your bisexual?”
Woman 2: “No, I’m BEY-SEXUAL”
Woman 2: *Proceeds to go through B…
Bey-sexual
A person who is not sexually attracted to women, but would have sex with Beyoncé
Woman 1: “Are you attracted to women?”
Woman 2: “no, except Beyoncé”
Woman 1: “So, are your bisexual?”
Woman 2: “No, I’m BEY-SEXUAL”
Woman 2: *Proceeds to go through B…
And I get that but
When you aren’t really listening but you want to make it seem like you are.
Yeah, no and I get that but like…wait what
And I get that but
When you aren’t really listening but you want to make it seem like you are.
Yeah, no and I get that but like…wait what
narcissistick
A selfie stick
it seems like everyone these days has a narcissistick to take a selfie.
narcissistick
A selfie stick
it seems like everyone these days has a narcissistick to take a selfie.
Z-Locate
Mostly used by hackers, this word means to locate/collect data on someone using Facebook.
Okay, guys, let’s Z-Locate his data.
fb shitting
Scrolling through the Facebook newsfeed while sitting on the toilet
You have been in the bathroom for an extended period of time, quit fb shitting and come out.
mammograph
A celebrity signature written on a female breast, usually with a "Sharpie" brand marker.
Julie got a mammograph from DJ Tom on her left boob last night.
textrovert
1. One who feels an increased sense of bravery over texting, as opposed to in person.
2. One who will often only say what they really feel over text messages.
Kelly: “So how’d the conversation go with Bill last night?”
Wendy: “Ah he’s such a textrovert. We didn’t make any progress until I went home and he spilled his guts over texts.”