ass liquid
When you’ve eaten something that has totally fucked up your stomach.
Then when you shit its a liquidy substance called ass liquid
Yo I have no fucking idea what I ate but I’ve been pushing ass liquid for 3 days straight
sock marks
The indentations left on the calves or ankles as a result of wearing tight socks;
I’m heading to the gym after work today and I only brought shorts. Damn, I guess I won’t be able to conceal my sock marks.
Fresh Air Break
A way to say “ciggarette break” without your boss knowing that you’re going to have a smoke. Especially useful in non-smoking environments. The term “fresh air” can also be used to mean “ciggarette” but is not typically necessary and doesn’t sound right in most contexts.
Employee 1: I’m going out for a fresh air break
Boss: Ok, just be back in 15
Employee 2: (whisper) He doesn’t know you mean you’re going for a smoke?
Employee 1: (whisper) No! That’s the point!
Half-Day Tony
A person who starts a new job and quits after only half a day. Typically goes to lunch, never to return.
“Where’s the new guy? Didn’t he go to lunch… like 2 hours ago?”
“Uh ohh, he’s not coming back is he? Don’t tell me another one’s done a half-day Tony?”
“Fuck.”
hulu and handjobs
Like netflix and chill, and amazon and anal but with more sexual activity.
Sharkisha: Wanna come over for netflix and chill tonight?
Quan: Nah..
Skarkisha: How bout some Amazon and Anal?
Quan : No sorry
Skarkisha: Fine maybe some hulu and handjobs?…
stoner’s paradise
any store with a lot of food
Damn let’s go to stoner’s paradise i’m getting the munchies.
shithowdy
A greeting, primarily used in western states, expressing shock and amazement in association with the unexpected arrival of a former lover or spouse.
“Is that—-? Shithowdy”
(Oh shit)
(Shit)
(Holy shit)
(No shit)
(Damn)
baby beard
When a man attempts to grow a beard but his facial hair is so thin and inconsistent, it’s as if it were a baby beard
When I told my man I liked facial hair, he decided to let it grow but all I see is a baby beard!
lady cork
an alternative term for a tampon.
I can’t wait until the end of this week when I can stop wearing a lady cork and stop wearing panties.
shitakki
Similar to the act of buckakki, but replacing cum with shit.
My girl made her famous chili for dinner and I gave her shitakki for dessert.
dick please
Finally, a phrase for women to use with men that is just like the phrase “bitch please”.
When Sally’s man gave her shit about coming home late after being out with the girls, all she had to say was “Dick please!” before making a grilled cheese and passing out.
brogetit
When your bro says or does something dumb but you’re willing to forget it… brogetit.
Bro: “Hey man, sorry for puking in your Mom’s hamper last night, thought I was in the bathroom.”
Broseph: “No worries man, it happens. Brogetit.”
Bro: “Cool.”
lady snores
When a lady dozes off and begins to snore so faintly it’s almost difficult to know she’s even sleeping.
John’s Ho fell asleep on the couch again, but I don’t mind because her lady snores are so soft.
a Baker’s Shit ton
When there is way more than a Baker’s dozen, a shit ton, “A Baker’s Shit Ton”.
Dude A: “Yo, we need a Shit Ton of donuts for this morning’s wake and bake!”
Dude B: “Like a Baker’s Dozen?”
Dude A: “Yes, only more like a Baker’s Shit Ton!”
Dude B: “I get it brah, bitches gonna smile like donuts.”
typo virus
Malware obtained by incorrectly typing a web URL in the browser or accidentally clicking on the wrong link in search results
I totally mistyped the YouTube address in my browser yesterday . Now I have to take my laptop to the Geek Squad to get the …
thotcrime
an instance of controversial or forbidden thot-like behavior, i.e. acting as outlandishly promiscuous or slutty as humanly possible
That hoe over there was engaged in so many sexual acts with various men that when her friend found out, she told her…
friendly fade
A passive-aggressive method to ‘break up’ with a friend without being hurtful. Similar to ghosting, this method is NOT an abrupt process and can apply to just about anyone. Care should be taken when choosing this strategy:
• Take longer and longer intervals to return phone calls, text messages, etc.. and avoid making commitments. For ex: take a week to return a voicemail or a few days for a text. As the weeks go by, the lag between all communications gradually increases.
• Never answer the phone if you see that person’s number on your caller ID. Wait at least a week to return the message (unless it’s an emergency), preferably via text.
• Avoid face-to-face meetings (like coffee or lunch) and make excuses to skip activities you both enjoyed previously (like going to the movies).
The goal is to gently un-friend that person at a kind and gingerly pace. It can be a very effective method for those averse to conflict or part of tightly knit groups. Over time, your feelings may change, and you may want to rekindle the friendship. With this method, you haven’t burned all your bridges.
After years of being told by her best friend that she needed to lose weight, Lizzie decided to do the friendly fade. She started by avoiding her phone calls, not replying right away to her texts, and making her invisible on her Facebook timeline.
post porn depression
That moment after you finished watching some sick, fucked-up, porno and your just sitting there thinking “What the hell is wrong with me?” While you ponder life and shit.
Dude, I just watched some bondage beastiality orgy porn video last night and I immediately had post porn depression.
arm cardio
Masturbation
Since his girlfriend broke up with him, he’s really been getting in a lot of arm cardio.