When you have to call someone back but don’t want to talk to them, so you wait until you know they can’t talk and leave a voice mail.
“I don’t want to tell Karen I can’t make it tonight, so I’ll Stealth-call her when she’s on her flight and has her phone shut off.”
When you have to call someone back but don’t want to talk to them, so you wait until you know they can’t talk and leave a voice mail.
“I don’t want to tell Karen I can’t make it tonight, so I’ll Stealth-call her when she’s on her flight and has her phone shut off.”
A TSA pat-down with a “happy landing.”
I got a gate massage at the airport today. I feel great!
voluntold: The exact opposite of volunteering. Always used in reference to an unpleasant task to which you have been assigned by your boss.
Example 1:
Co-worker 1: I hear you got a transfer.
Co-worker 2: Yeah. I didn’t want to, but I was voluntold.
Example 2:
Co-worker 1: You want to go fishing Saturday???
Co-worker 2: I can’t, I got voluntold I have to work this weekend.
An individual who talks on his or her cell phone even when doing so is rude or inconsiderate of other people.
“Can’t you stop talking on the phone while ordering your happy meal — that’s cellfish”
When you make a decision you instantly regret.
I voted for Trump because I thought he would be the greatest leader ever, I’m feeling brexit.
Adjective
A self-coined malapropism and Freudian slip by the Short-fingered Vulgarian/President-elect as he attempted to conduct sensitive US-Chinese diplomacy with a very-classy, bigly-nuanced tweet.
“China steals United States Navy research drone in international waters – rips it out of water and takes it to China in unpresidented act.”
-Donald (Drumpf) Trump
President-elect of the US and Effing Moron
Body of assholes who assemble every four years to confirm chief executive asshole.
The rectoral college was totally wiped out after a marathon session.
To mess up extremely past the point of no return.
Man: *doing his woman* Oh! Mary!
Woman: MARY!? WHO’S MARY!
Man: Shit…..
Woman: Oh You done fucked up now!!
If you own a sailboat, it’s the wind in your sails.
Yea were gonna head out today, hurricane Wendy left us with plenty of sailboat fuel.
When your experience level in masturbating has reached the pinnacle of the field and have been established as an expert in the field.
My girlfriend caught me doctorbating and was impressed with my level of skill achieved.
Extreme over reaction to personal criticism.
Calm down, stop throwing a Trumpitantrum. All Becky said was your hair looked weird.
Extreme over reaction to personal criticism.
Calm down, stop throwing a Trumpitantrum. All Becky said was your hair looked weird.
When you masturbate so long in the shower that the water turns cold
– Did u finish yet?
– Now I am, I like to beat it till it’s cold
A small penis surrounded by a ridiculous plumage of pubic hair.
Lady1: How was last night?
Lady2: Terrible, he had a Trump Stump
Taking an incredibly toxic dump.
Omg, where is the next bathroom? I have to take a Trump!
The weight gained when Donald Trump was elected President Of The United States
When we heard the election result, my mother gained the Trump Ten as a result of overeating.
For people who don’t know the word “our”
My friend and I heard Sugar Ray on the way to a party. It made are night.