A person who holds a significant amount of money tied up in Gift Cards, Store Credit, Groupons and other forms of vouchers.
Financial Advisor: Do you know your networth?
Gift Card Millionaire: Do you include Gift Cards? Because that would significa…
The act of pulling your dick out of your pants as a sign of respect for our nigga Harambe
Show some respect you insensitive fuck; dicks out for Harambe.
ripped or “holy” jeans. They’re so holy, they’re jesus jeans!
Dude! LOOK AT MY NEW JESUS JEANS!
Undercover police officers. (low profile police)
“those low pro po’s swear we cant spot them in crown vics with no plates and a searchlight.”
A way of saying the phrase, “Hate us cause they ain’t us” with a little more elegance.
Webster: “Boy I’ll tell ya Garth, them jocks are always ragging on us for our programming skills.”
Garth: “Hate us cause they anus!”
A middle-distance relationship, or “MDR”, is when two people find themselves living with *JUST* enough distance between them that they can’t see each other as often as they’d like — shorter than the distance between Taylor Swift and Adele’s vocal ranges but longer than the time it takes to master the catchy lyrics to Tay Tay’s latest chart-topper. Commonly used for a relationship with a significant other, friend, or friend’s pet that lives more than 30 minutes, one bridge or a very large hill away.
Person 1: How often do you see your BFF?
Person 2: Um, like once a month TOPS. She lives all the way in Oakland.
Person 1: Ew. I hate crossing the bridge.
Person 2: I know, but I love her. She makes having a middle-distance relationship totes worth
A panicky, flirtatious text thread usually leading to sexting. Commonly typed in a nervous fashion out of fear of getting caught.
Look at Jimmy over there fever texting with his side chick.
a massive night out with the lads with no defined finishing time, unlimited larger consumption and scant regard for any tasks or responsibilities that need to be adhered to the next day. Generally the premise of the out of town worker
-you out on Thursday?
-too right, full smash!
-but what about all that cable we’ve got to install on Friday?
-i couldn’t give a f**k!
A sarcastic phrase meant to downplay the complaint or misfortune of another person, similar to playing the world’s tiniest violin with one’s fingers.
It is a reference to the assassination of President Lincoln. Can be substituted with any phrase referring to a tragic event, such as, “Other than that, how was the flight, Sullie?”
“I just found out I have to work this weekend.”
“Other than that, how was the play, Mrs. Lincoln?”
Bay area term meaning to put money down on someone else’s gas. Someone’s portion of gas money.
“If you take me there I will give you gas ends.”
“Do you have gas ends for the trip?”
“I have ends on gas!”
When a person in casual conversation drops extremely depressing information in an order to derail the conversation to a more depressing state.
Person 1:”Hey this restaurant is really great!”
Person 2: “Yeah, but that time I was here my ex punched me in the face.”
Person 1: “…fuck…way too be depressive aggressive.”
When someone brags about something but are clearly lying about it or give an example of how bad you are at the thing you’re bragging about.
Did you hear that Trump Brag: “I went to an ivy league school, I’m very highly educated. I know words I have the best words.”
What happens when you type “Google” into Google.
I am head of IT and I have it on good authority: if you type “Google” into Google you can break the internet. So please, no-one try it, even for a joke.
Open Beta is the stage of devolopment where you have to Pre-Purchase the game to have the privelege to test it for any final bugs.
“Pre-Purchase for OPEN BETA EARLY ACESS” – Overwatch, Blizzard
a driver that is all over your rear bumper if you drive the speed limit.
Damn I’m driving the speed limit and that texas driver behind me is all over my rear bumper!
An excuse used by shitty people to deny ownership or knowledge of their bad qualities. Can also be used to devalue and avoid change or responsibility over what the other person said to them. In either case, the speaker feigns surprise at these “new” and “unexpected” things they are being told.
Translates directly into “you’ve taken all my shit before, why the sudden backbone?” and/or “I’ve known this for awhile, but why bring it up now?”
Ellie: You lie to my face and behind my back, we only hang out when you need something, you ditch me the second you get a boyfriend and come running back the second he leaves you, and you give me your clothes that are too tight and then tell people you gave them to me because they were too big. You’re a bad friend, and I’m so done with you.
Christie: Whoah, where is this coming from?
Dan: We’ve been friends for a long time and obviously you know I like you because I go above and beyond the call of duty of friendship, so now that you’re single, maybe we can go on a date?
Jamie: A date? Like romantic? But you’re my friend. Where is this coming from?