step-fucker
somebody who is fucking your mom and is not your real dad. sometimes called “Step-Douche”, “Step-Ass” and so on.
Alyssa: Why are you so sad?
Jess: My step-fucker just found me smoking grass.
Netflix and Jill
When you watch Netflix alone and jerk off.
As Ryan stared into his television screen he realized that this Netflix and Jill session would end more quickly than he anticipated.
Toward the end of Drew’s Netflix and Jill session he realized that he ruined a good pair of socks
fecally challenged
A person suffering from severe constipation.
Doug has been fecally challenged ever since he started taking his psych meds.
instagram bae
someone who likes all your Instagram pictures and gives you shoutouts and acts like Yall a couple over instagram
Dang who this girl liking all ya pics on IG?
That’s my Instagram Bae
daddy talk
A girl calling her man daddy like “Fuck me daddy”
-“I love when she calls me daddy”
-“Oh, you mean daddy talk?”
petextrian
n. One who texts while walking, usually unaware of their surroundings.
John spilled hot coffee all over himself when the petextrian ahead of him stopped short.
schlonged
To be cockslapped by a man with a large penis.
‘Shit that teenage mum just got schlonged by that hobo!’
ugly sleep
Acquired during the deepest stages of a much-needed restful night; when you’re so sleep, you sleep through alarms, often with mouth ajar, face planted against the sheets.
I tried to wake you up in time for the bus but you were in a deep ugly sleep. I couldn’t bring myself to interrupt
poormouthing
Someone who has money, but goes around complaining how they don’t have enough cash to pay their bills or buy food,
she has a spit shined brand new lexus in the driveway, so i dont want to hear her poormouthing herself when its time to pay her rent.
Yelp Special
What restaurant owners give to the special snowflake Yelp reviewers. Usually consists of a “special” surprise, including but not limited to boogers and cum.
“Hey, did you see that chef over there?”
“Yeah man, he was giving that critic the Yelp Special.”
dick chicken
A game between two guys who pull out their dicks and walk towards each other. Both lose or win if dicks touch.Play when drunk!
Who wants to play dick chicken!
cheater app
An app such as Kik, Whatsapp or Snapchat that allows people to anonymously chat. They are often used by people cheating or playing games online.
He didn’t give me his number, he wanted to talk through a cheater app. He is probably cheating on his woman.
truuuu
Used by illiterate instagram commenters to express reaction or mutual agreement to a certain subject or topic.
Person 1: wen u go to the barber shop and you forget your money but dont tell the barber until after the cut
Person 2: omg lol truuuuuu 😂😂👌👌✋✋💯💯💯😂✋😂✋👌
Conversational Remorse
The feeling you get after leaving a conversation, when you think of all things you should have said, witty, wise or informative.
Man i totally should have told her what not to do in her current situation. Im overhelmed by conversational remorse rig…
Sympathy Boner
Something males (mostly) get when they attempt to console a female who has recently found out about an unfaithful mate.
Sarah: I can’t believe he cheated on me. Uh, what’s that?
Daniel: It’s a sympathy boner. Come get a hug.
Amazon and anal
Like Netflix and chill but with butt stuff.
Girl: Netflix and chill?
Guy: No
Girl: Amazon and anal?
lol’d irl
Laughed out loud, in real life. For when you actually, legitimately, do laugh out loud after reading something. Not the pity ‘lol’ you throw down just to be polite or because you don’t know what the fuck else to say.
When I was reading your texts on the bus, I lol’d irl and everyone stared at me like I had mental issues.
feelin’ yourself
To have a sense of confidence; to be pleased with the way you look and show it through actions.
A:”I look so good”
B:”you need to chill. You are feelin’ yourself way too much.