angel’s touch
When you are peeing or shitting and your dick touches the urinal / toilet where other dicks probably have been.
I was shitting comfortably when suddenly my dick feels cold like an angel’s touch.
white peopling
Used to describe certain activities that are popular within the Caucasian community that People of Color don’t usually participate in.
Keith: “Hey guys, would you like to go hiking and camping with me this weekend? Maybe do a little hang gliding if the wind conditions are right.”
Darren and Diego look at each another.
Darren: “Does he mean he wants us to go white peopling with him?”
Diego: “I think so bruh.”
And then i fucked her up the ass
What you say when you’re in the middle of a story and realize no one’s listening.
I’m sitting at the dinner table, telling my girlfriends family about how we met. As I’m getting to the funny part, i realize no one’s listening, so i abruptly finish with “and then i fucked her up the ass!”
Didn’t Do List
When you get the great idea to start making ToDo lists at work, of which’s items only a fraction get done. As the list grows after a few days, weeks, whatever, you begin to realize you’ve made a huge list of things you intended to do but never got done.
Every morning at work, I add more things I should do to my didn’t do list, then go on an hour and a half coffee break to flirt with the girl downstairs and otherwise waste company time.
Didn’t Do List
When you get the great idea to start making ToDo lists at work, of which’s items only a fraction get done. As the list grows after a few days, weeks, whatever, you begin to realize you’ve made a huge list of things you intended to do but never got done.
Every morning at work, I add more things I should do to my didn’t do list, then go on an hour and a half coffee break to flirt with the girl downstairs and otherwise waste company time.
sex sickness
The exhaustion and sick feeling you get when you have too much sex
Guy 1: Jamie fucked seven times in one day and then threw up.Guy 2: Sounds like major sex sickness
hooded soldier
A hooded soldier is a confident man who takes pride in his foreskin. A hooded solider knows the power and appreciates the function of his intact penis.
She keeps coming back for that hooded soldier.
FOH
Fuck Outta Here
A shorter way to say Get the fuck outta here
Guess who I saw yesterday?
Who?
Your old ex. Calvin!
FOH! Where you see that fool?
Starfish
When you get so high you are spread out and stuck to your bed like a starfish.
“Haley got so high from that Lasagna bowl that she starfished in the car and didn’t even make it to Taco Bell” “Gordon is always the first to Starfish”
plump girls
Ladies that are over 380 and are very confident about their weight.
Did you see those nice plump girls over there at the club?
phone girlfriend
Girl you sext and share sexual pics and conversations with
I sat up with my phone girlfriend all night and now I have blueballs
Headphone Zombie
When someone is wearing headphones and is completely unresponsive to the outside world. Headphone zombies often travel in packs, but rarely communicate or associate with one another. It is not yet determined whether they feed on brains or popular musi…
gods bra
Going bra less
“She said she was wearing Gods Bra and then I saw her nipples”
1st guy: ” Those girls are having a Gods Bra party”
2nd guy: “Let’s crash it!”
shamefuck
The person you’re compelled to fuck, even though they’re not the hottest/sexiest/smartest or clever or remotely appealing to most people.
The guy is a pig. He’s stupid and repulsive. I can’t keep my hands off him. I don’t know why I want him. He is my shamefuck.
SFTME
Sorry For The Mass Email
SFTME everybody,Has anyone seen my red stapler? I left it somewhere in the office last Saturday.Thanks!
Milton
SFTC
A more discrete, faster way of saying “Straight For the Cock”
Paige: Sarah, Did you go SFTC?
Sarah: You know it!
ashy dick
A penis that endures no sexual intercourse for a long period of time (it does not get wet)
Man… It’s been awhile. I’m getting an ashy dick
Insta-lerking
Going more than 25 weeks deep into someone that you fantasize about’s Instagram Page and not liking any pictures.
Gurl#1: i was insta-lerking Dequans page last night.
Gurl #2: Did you like any pictures?
Gurl #1: Hell no, i was 56 weeks deep into that page gurl!!!!