Behaving British
The act of doing something you know you’ll regret immediately after.
“I always knew it was a terrible idea to vote ‘leave’, I guess I was just behaving British.”
NSFK
Not
Safe
For
Kids
A family friendly edition of NSFW(Not safe for work)
“Son – What were you and mommy talking about”
“Dad – Now son mommy and I were talking about something that is NSFK”
Village Bicycle
Someone who is easy to ingage sexual activity on a regular basis and has no problem doing it with with various different individuals.
Niamh is such a village bicycle.
Yeah totally everyone gets a ride!
crotch spiders
The pubic hair that sneaks out of a bikini bottom.
Man look at the crotch spiders on her. Impressive.
spange
To collect spare change, either from couches, passerbys on the street or any numerous other ways and means
Jimmy doesn’t have enough money for the show, he will have to spange.
outercourse
Pretty much the opposite of intercourse, except with clothes on. It consists of male/female couple rubbing up against each other for sexual pleasure.
Damn I literally just had an orgasm for the outercourse.I know! It was great.
IWTOYWIM
Stands for “I will think of you when I masturbate”, A creepy message to put in the back of your classmates yearbooks.
“Julie, HAGS! See you next year! IWTOYWIM!”
sexual equinox
It’s the point in your life at which your age matches your number of sexual partners
Dude I just had an amazing weekend.
Why? What happened?
I hit my sexual equinox.
Bro, that’s amazing, especially at 45.
pollotarian
A pollotarian (aka a pollovegetarian or a pollo-vegetarian) is someone who will not eat the flesh of any red meat mammals, but does include chicken, turkey and other poultry. They may or may not also exclude fish, seafood or products like eggs and dai…
Old slippers
The genitals of a past significant other that after consideration and comparison are the ones you love the most
“My girpelfriend said she missed my old slippers”
yopro
Short for “young professional,” especially presumptuous, self-interested types.
That bar is overrun by yopros in suits going on and on about their boring office jobs. Why are they acting twice their age?
Shavocado
A shaved scrotum of an adult male.
You can tell Johnny was quite proud of his shavocado as he entered the locker room showers.
turkey tap
When someone (usually male) taps another male on the nutsack firmly enough to elicit a short burst of testicular pain.
“Man, I actually prefer getting snapped in the ass with a wet towel in the locker room now that the football team started turkey tapping me after P.E.”
delete your account
The ultimate RT Twitter insult.Implies something just tweeted was so foolish, moronic, and pointless the person who wrote it should just close their account and walk away in shame.
Jeb Bush: (picture of a gun, titled) America
Edward Snowden: delete…
Breastie
A best friend of yours that has the same breast size as you
Kim: Hey look, it’s my breastie Emma. Let’s go say hi!
Mark: Breastie?
Kim: yeah, she’s my bestie and has the the same breast size as me.
Mark: let’s forget we ever had this conversation
Kim: Agreed
hype artist
Someone who get’s an audience riled up and hype, but they don’t have much substance. Like a DJ or a lesser known opening artist before a performance.
Nigeria is a hype artist, but she doesn’t ever know what she’s talking about.
beforeface
The face you make right before you bust
Bruh my beforeface was crazy when we were doing it in that missionary position
Comfort Tub
1 : For most girls, this is either a tub of any type of food (most of the time, ice cream) while she cries her heart out while watching romantic movies.
2 : A bath tub with scattered rose petals and an aromatic smell, scented candles lit everywhere, so the broken-hearted girl can take a comforting wash.
Girl 1: Boo.. he broke my heart, boo!
Girl 2: Bring out the “Comfort Tub”!