chain scrolling
When you have the tablet scrolling Twitter and the phone scrolling Instagram.
My lady has graduated from AOL to chain scrolling.
chain scrolling
When you have the tablet scrolling Twitter and the phone scrolling Instagram.
My lady has graduated from AOL to chain scrolling.
twittatorship
A dictatorship that is attempted through late night Twitter decrees, that have no legal leverage .
Trump seems to think he can run the country by Twittatorship.
Pissgate
The scandal in which there may or may not be a tape of the President getting pissed on by Russian prostitutes
I cant believe the President is caught up in this pissgate
pull a Trump
To blatantly keep asserting a lie, despite the overwhelming and obvious facts to the contrary.
Real Estate Salesman tried to pull a Trump, as he stood next to me on the empty lot, he kept insisting that the building located on the lot was currently…
pull a Trump
To blatantly keep asserting a lie, despite the overwhelming and obvious facts to the contrary.
Real Estate Salesman tried to pull a Trump, as he stood next to me on the empty lot, he kept insisting that the building located on the lot was currently…
Burner
A throwaway prepaid cellphone, typically used by dealers. Used until the minutes are up, then thrown away so they cannot be tapped.
‘There is burners all over the street.’
Burner
A throwaway prepaid cellphone, typically used by dealers. Used until the minutes are up, then thrown away so they cannot be tapped.
‘There is burners all over the street.’
zuckerversary
When you celebrate a year of friendship on Facebook.
Jim: Hey Steve, we’ve been friends for six years on Facebook. Happy zuckerversary!
sauna bomb
Running into a sauna naked and pooping on the heat source
I was having a relaxing schvitz when Trump totally sauna bombed and blamed it on Obama.
mooch
Someone who wants something for free .. someone who takes and takes but doesn’t give back.
Matt is the biggest MOOCH ive ever seen
Cannabusiness
The fine art of selling weed.
“hey Aaron”
“ey”
“soo i uhh… heard you were in the business.”
“what?”
“the cannabusiness?”
Cannabusiness
The fine art of selling weed.
“hey Aaron”
“ey”
“soo i uhh… heard you were in the business.”
“what?”
“the cannabusiness?”
Sleep Mode
To temporarily shut off the thinking part of your brain and focus only at the task at hand, such as eating, playing video games, watching television, or exercising.
Husband: “……….” (Eats dinner while running sleep mode)
Wife: “Whatcha thinking about?”
Husband: “……….Nothing.” (Continues eating as he enters sleep mode again)
shelf friend
When you become an option. You are not first pick of friends. When your friend starts dating someone and you are put up on a shelf until they have no other people to hang with.
I don’t need you anymore, I’m dating somebody. So I’ll put you up on the shelf until I have a need for you. You are my shelf friend.
Verbal Handcuffs
When someone won’t stop talking (usually about a subject you have no interest in). The talker has verbally forced you to stand there there and listen, even though you have given many clues that you have checked out. Examples: vacant stares, looking at your watch, checking your phone, answering in short one word phrases.
Girl 1 :So then I realized my cat really likes Meow Mix more than Frisky’s but only if I mix it with Fancy Feast.
Girl 2: (Stares blankly)
Girl 1: Unless of course it’s Chicken Livers from 9 Lives, Snowball loves that. It’s her favorite.
Girl 2: Uh-huh.
Girl 1: Of course on her birthday I give her the good stuff, real tuna!
Girl 2: (Thinks fuck me, verbal handcuffs)
Gladimir Putin
1. When Vladimir Putin smiles in a meme-worthy manner. (Name)
2. Feeling glad or smug. (Slang)
Antonym: Sadimir Putin
Gladimir Putin memes were all over my feed after the election.
When Dick found out his girlfriend wasn’t pregnant, he was super Gladimir Putin.
orange russian
An Orange Russian is a cocktail made with vodka, coffee liqueur, and urine.
Did you see that video of Donny on Facebook? Some chick gave him an orange russian!