preclapulation
Clapping before you even know what you’re clapping for.
When Walter was the only one clapping at the show, it was obvious that he was suffering from preclapulation.
fur of the cat that scratched me
smoking some marijuana to cure the effects of having smoked too much the night before.
I feel better now that i have had some fur of the cat that scratched me.
Shit the Fuck Yeah
Exclamation for when something is just too cool for any other phrase.
“I just got us tickets to the … show.”
“Shit the Fuck Yeah!”
insipiosexual
From Latin “insipiens” (opposite of “sapiens”) and “sexualis” (sexual), meaning “attracted primarily to fools.”
Often assumed to be heterosexual, Laura Bush is actually insipiosexual. George was just the one she fell in love with.
trust fail
A poorly executed trust fall, i.e. you do not catch the person who is dropping back in to your arms.
Kendall was all set with this team building exercise until Barry was gabbing to Corbin and not paying attention, resulting in Kendall falling back …
Cinderfella
A man who must be home by midnight for any one of a variety of reasons or he will face serious consequences
Dan: Dude its 1145, I gotta get out of here and take my medicine or I’ll pass out.
Mike: You are such a Cinderfella
Grad bod
similar to dad bod, but only achieved by binge drinking while studying all year. No kids necessary.
Chicks totally dig grad bod cause they think it’s dad bod.
Lookin’ Friday
When you’re dressed in your Friday best ready to hit the bars and pick up some chicks. Lookin fly as a mother fucker.
Person A: Man do you think I’m dressed well enough for the party?
Person B: Sheeeeit, you lookin’ Friday as hell.
Necrophobia
Of which one has an abnormal fear of dying; A persistent fear of dying or the process of dying.
“Man, you have necrophobia if you cant stay home alone.”
Facebook Machine
A computer primarily designed to browse sites like Facebook instead of doing proper work on.
The new Macbook is a $1000 Facebook Machine.
Chicken wages
Low wage income earned in a fast food establishment, specifically at a fast food chicken place.
I drink Pabst because of these oppressive chicken wages.
FOGO
Fear of going out, opposite of FOMO. A light hearted jovial expression used in situations where a person is non committal to the evenings activities.
Steven has FOGO tonight, he is worried he’ll be tired tomorrow.
Poptical Illusion
Certain patterns on baggy pants that make a girls butt look larger or even in massive tense
Ashlyn’s pants are a poptical illusion
Tweet It
If someone says ‘Tweet It’ after another person has said a sentence then they must simply tweet the sentence they just said.
James Wells ‘I suck cock’ Adam davies ‘Tweet it’. James would then have to tweet that he sucks cock
Kidcessory
A child had by a celebrity just for the attention. Usually given a bizarre name, because who cares what the child has to go through growing up, they’re just a kidcessory.
D’ya hear? Kimye had a kidcessory and named it North West.
Ketchup drool
The thin nasty liquid that drips from the ketchup bottle before the thick sauce reaches the opening
Don’t pour the ketchup bottle over your fries until all the ketchup drool has cleared.
datenapping
When you find yourself in a date with someone who bores you to the point that you find yourself asleep with your eyes open.
Paige: Dang, the guy last night who took me to dinner was such a bore. He caught me datenapping right during the entree.Jill…
whoopsie wave
When you wave to someone you know and another person intercepts your wave mistakenly as if you are waving to them, e.g. caught in the crossfire of your wave.
I was waving to Eddy at the show and Phil thought I was waving to him. Awkward… Phil waved back to me as he was caught in a whoopsie wave. It’s almost as bad as when Jim invited me to lunch, thinking I was Tony because his phone contacts were screwed up resulting in Jim texting me with an invite.
crappy ending
The opposite of a happy ending when getting a massage. When you are so relaxed that you shit yourself during the massage.
Dana: Dude, I just had a great massage just now but I need to tip the masseuse big.Eric: Why, happy ending?Dana: Nope. Actuall…
Jackintosh
A computer used exclusively for porn.
I have my desktop for work and my family tablet, or as I refer to it, my Jackintosh.