SeanWard.org

“We’re reference librarians, not key guards. We shouldn’t have to hand out keys. We’re there to answer people’s reference questions. They should put those keys at Circulation with the other piddly stuff. We don’t have time.”

“Well all I know is that I work for the Uni-versity, and it is my duty to teach those students in those rooms, and I’m not being allowed to do it because of some silly rules the Director doesn’t want to bend. There must be some way to be more accommodating.”

“I don’t see why you’re telling me this. You should tell your problems to your Division Direc-tor.”

“My Division Director doesn’t run the li-brary. I don’t understand why we can’t have some cooperation to avoid these problems when they arise. It shouldn’t take an act of Congress to check a key out of the library.”

“But it’s not your problem.”

“If it’s not my problem whose is it?”

“Your Division Director’s.”

Obviously. Whose else could it be? After all, I’m the one who has to stand in line to get the key. I’m the one who has to stand in the same idiotic line to return the key, because they not only have to be checked out, they have to be checked in. I’m the one with the fine who can’t get in the room to teach at all anymore, but that’s not important. And my students, they don’t count. Yup. That leaves my Division Director. He appreciates the catwoman’s sympathy for his predicament.

“Your phone doesn’t work?” she asks.

“No.”

“Is there a number I can reach you at if I can’t come in the morning?”

“Do you think you’ll have a problem in the morning?” The alarm bells go off in his head. She wants to leave the cat here forever. When I close the door she’ll board it up, slip cat food and burritos through a slot in the door. Eventually the fumes will kill me, turd inhalation. I’ll die of turd inhalation. He notices the plants seem remarkably greener.

“Oh no,” she says. “But just in case I need to call, what number should I dial?”

She already has the pager number. “I tell you what. I’ll give you my digital. That way if you can’t come, you can enter a code and I’ll know to put the cat out. You can also page me with a code to tell me that you’re on your way.” He feels clever. This is a good solution to the problem.