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“Meeooooowwwwww. Meeooooowwwwww,” says the cat.

The cat shuts up as soon as he gets his meat. Alex collapses onto the couch. She sits down.

“It’s good of you to help him out like this.”

He grunts. I wish they’d both leave.

“Can he stay here just until the morning and I swear I’ll take him to the vet.”

“Maybe you should take him now.”

She isn’t listening. “You could lock him in the bathroom with his litter box. That way, even if he doesn’t use the box at least he won’t go on the carpet. And I can come with my cat carrier in the morning and pick him up.”

“I tried that. He screamed. Kept me up half the night. I can’t have that. I need to sleep.”

“Of course. Well maybe you can just put some papers down in the spot he goes, and then he’ll go on the papers. It’s only for the night.”

“Why can’t you lock him in your bathroom?”

Her face goes blank. “That’s impossible.” Alex agrees to let the cat stay so she will get the hell out, but she doesn’t leave.

“Now we want everything done at once. He’ll need a test for feline leukemia and feline AIDs first, then his shots. We should do that before he gets neutered.” She runs down the checklist of all the things he needs to spend my money on to make things right with the cat and the universe. I owe this cat nothing. In fact, the cat owes me. He should buy me a steak and then clean up after me, do the dishes, pick up my turds. Alex does what any normal human being would do in this situation. He offers her money.

“I can pay for the neuter, but I can’t afford the rest. I just don’t have the money and I can’t keep the cat.”